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Monday, April 5, 2010
midst of thinking. . .

haizz.. i suddenly feel like blogging but there are just so many things to express..
well, i've got a half-dangling unfinish post which i'm not going to blog about it now, i just watched finished "you're beautiful" which is currently still stuck in my head, i've also read finish the 4th book of the twilight saga which is "breaking dawn" but that fantasy is slowing starting to fade due to the korean drama, and now i'm thinking about my future which is what i'm going to blog about now. =)
(noticed i've started to use , instead of .. .ahaha..this is because i'm practicing to write proper sentences which is not coming out so well with my first sentence which have like about 4 commas! )

I'm currently having 3 weeks break and this is my 2nd week already! I have to admit that i didn't make full use of my holiday. I didn't plan it out properly and i just linger around my house, doing random things and etc. Semester 3 is going to start soon and i'm going to have a headache. I mean if i don't figure out what degree to pursue then i'm going to have a headache. So i'm just going to blog about what I've been thinking.

so i was washing the dishes just now and my mom suddenly started talking about degrees. I usually try to avoid this topic of conversation because i just can't figure out what i want to do and i'm tired of giving the same excuses of "i don't know". Then i started thinking again about the options i had considered before for example mechanical engineering. Well, this options came up because i like to repair mechanic pencils. I'm also quite good at building and demolishing things. =) If i just see how other people fix something, i can catch up pretty fast with my genius brain. ahaha.. And i also don't mind getting oil or stains on my hands. When i'm clean, i'm a neat freak. When it's time to get down and dirty, I'll get down and dirty all the way! ^^ but well, this option didn't work out because hmm.. may be its because i keep convincing myself that i don't really like science. I kept telling myself that i just studied science to score well in spm but now i still don't really know whether i regret dropping my science and going for arts for pre-u. I was pretty rebellious at that time when i had to choose. Besides that, when i studied physics and chemistry in form 6 (i only tried for 2 weeks), i had no idea what the teacher was talking about and i didn't make an effort in trying to understand it either. I was just ... not thinking right at that time too. So in the end, when i took foundation in arts as my pre-u course, mechanical engineering was out.

Well, I've considered being a teacher before but i'm still not sure about this one. May be i'm influence by too many shows but i've always feel like influencing people in a good way. The feeling of a normal person like me can make a change or a difference in their life. Teaching is fun i guess but i don't really know whether i'm good at it. I am a fast learner but i'm not that good in explaining. There are a few teachers that i really like during my high school years because they really know how to teach. there's Pn.Chuah!!! my add. maths teacher.. XD Pn. Leela, used to be my history teacher. Pn. Shanta, my biology teacher which really made me understand biology..=) and of course my tuition teachers. I've always thought of how cool it would be to be like one of them, to be liked by the students and not to mention to be a 'hot' teacher that some senior students might have a crush on.. ahaha.. owwhh.. my dear brain that thinks too much.. i also like to mark papers. =) you know, holding a red pen and tick tick tick, cross cross cross, it's fun! Actually i might be a teacher but the low pay of a teacher is really holding me back. I might like being a teacher but i love money too!! ahaha.. unless i'm married to a super rich husband..XD

Besides that, i've also thought of becoming an actuarist. ahaha.. actually i'm still considering it but if i do want to pursue that degree then it will take very long and i'll need to repeat my pre-u and i MUST have a scholarship! The pay for this job is reaallllyyy good $$, not to mention it also involves lots of maths which i love!! and some economics. But somehow i chicken out from this options. Well, you see there's this genius guy in my secondary school like seriously a genius in maths. he has won many maths competition and even represented our COUNTRY!! for the olympic maths in don't know which country and won the 2nd place!! How genius is that!! he even got a JPA scholarship to pursue actuarial science in overseas. well, i couldn't help it but i kept camparing myself to that guy. At least i did participated in a few maths competition but i've never won, i don't get 100% for my exam everytime and i'm not as genius as him. So that's why i was cowardly with this option.

Hmmm.. another option was to become a pilot!! ahaha.. Quite random right?? It was just that moment when i felt like flying. ahaha.. actually i've thought of becoming an airstewardess but just incase i don't like serving then i can become a pilot. =) the pay is pretty good too!! the only concern is that your life and a few more hundred of other people's life is in your HANDS!! and the irregular working hours. But the thing is you don't need a degree to be a pilot of an airstewardess. So if just say you straight away go for this options and in the end you didn't like it, then you'll have a hard time looking for a job because you don't have a degree unless you are some super genius with super ideas to startup a super business and get super rich! ahaha.. then fine, go for it, what's the risk? So i've decided to have at least a degree first but this option is still currently open. May be to be consider after 8 years?

Okayy, ahaha, are you bored? nop. Am i bored? nop. So let's continue.=) the next option is a lawyer. I didn't really like the idea of being a lawyer at first but now i think its not such a bad idea. My mom and sister suggested this occupation after they went for a talk. it's kind of like by using you birthday, you can count and see what job is suitable for you and many more. So apparently i'm suitable to be a lawyer. Hah!! I'm going to sue you! XD.. well.. i just don't like it when you have to write reports but i think you can't escape from this in other jobs too. And i've not tried debating before so may be i should try it one day. =)

ahaha.. last but not least was accounting!! hmm.. i was quite rebellious with this option too. May be its because a lot of people suggested accounting and i got irritated so i didn't really like it. I did take accounting in form 4 but i've dropped it when i was in form 5 because i kept dozing off when teacher was teaching and i eventually couldn't catch up. But now i'm currently learning accounting in my pre-u course and it is actually quite. . . enjoyable i guess?! So i'm considering it. It's also like a common degree that people take when they don't really know what they want to do. The only cons for it is that during the year end it'll be very busy and you have to write a financial report. But of course there are pros too.

hmm.. actually there's more.XD.. well, this is not really an occupation thing but its kind of like a dream?? or hobby?? Its dancing!! =) ahaha..i love dancing but i'm not sure whether i'm good at it. it's just words with no action.=.= The only time i've perform was when i was 6 years old doing the "macarena". May be i've really watch too much television cause i've wonder what it was like to be a singer or an actress, to be able to dance on stage, to be able to act in different drama and different storyline which is all lay out infront of you. But of course reality kicks in and you know that your life is different from those drama. Your life itself has its own drama. The storyline may not lay out infront of you but it'll be discovered as time passes. So in some way you are an actress in your own life. You're the main character and you have a never ending episode until its time.

TOO much drama! Too much influence!! yes..i'm caught in my fantasy again.. sorry

Well, that's all for now. ahaha. NOW you know the story of elaine's indecisive decisions and options. XD But no matter what, I will have a happy ending! =)